My response to the @ritholtz: LOL Why @GSElevator Is a Fake

My response to the @ritholtz: LOL Why @GSElevator Is a Fake

 I get probably 10+ comments a day on Twitter talking about how fake my tweets are, or that I am some geek in a basement somewhere. And I ignore them all.  I am choosing to respond to you because you actually took the time to write about it, and also because I think your conclusion is rather shoddily premised. 

 In terms of the addressing all of your points, I will just list them out:

 1. The fictitious parody-like way they read – For the most part, you are right in terms of style, and how the tweets have increasingly evolved. But that doesn’t make them untrue. If you look at the evolution of my tweets, it has shifted more into this genre. But this is a function of 2 things: 1) That seems to be what is most popular (as measured by retweets and the increase in follower-count broadly attributable to any given tweet, and 2) my shift away from ad hominem attacks on specific people or deals (although I still do it occasionally).  The bottom line is that tweets that are too specific, too technical, or too boring are not popular.  

And of course I will apply some artistic license when editing a factual statement or conversation into something that I think will better resonate (and fits into 140 characters). Again, that doesn’t make it less true.

 2a. The math – I have always said, to the extent that it isn’t already totally obvious, that these aren’t just elevators. The only reason the name and basic premise is such, is as a tribute to the @condeelevator that I copied when I started…. So it’s bars, hotels, lobbies, airplanes, analyst drinks, trading floors, dates, Bloomberg chartrooms. Anywhere, you name it.

 2b. The math/frequency even with expanded geography – I completely disagree. I could probably get 20+ ridiculous, inappropriate, pathetic, or insightful comments a day from young Analysts or Associates in a handful of bars in New York alone. And probably twice as many in London and Hong Kong. Add in trading floors, hotel bars, or airport lounges, and you are only scratching the surface of available material… on a daily basis.  And it’s not just today or last night, it’s also, “hey, I heard this a while ago.” Personally, I probably have 1000+ awesome theoretical tweets saved up of crazy or funny things that I have overheard directly over the last 15 years.

 3. Risk factors – Again, I completely disagree with you. You premised your point with “all good bankers”, and everyone knows there are a shitload of terrible ones. Some bankers have issues with drug and alcohol abuse, marriage and fidelity issues, legal/moral issues, etc. etc. Bad behavior and bad judgement very frequently goes hand-in-hand with investment banking. Ask any psychologist, or any 1st wife. Or ask Jon Corzine about risk.

 4. “The 3rd guy in the elevator” – Again, you are too hung up on elevators. Secondly, I’m not dumb enough to post something that will get back to me. But if someone submits something that could get back to them, that’s their problem, not mine. And it doesn’t expose @gselevator, all it does is expose that someone somewhere submitted something… And I have been out for drinks with people where someone is about to tell a funny story, and premises it with something like “this better not end up on @GSElevator.” The other thing to bear in mind is that no one really knows the time lag… So if someone said something 3 months ago, are they really going to remember who was around to hear it? And like many of these tweets – to many bankers, these kinds of comments are so normal, common, and innocuous, that they don’t even think about it when they say it.

 And if you really think that Goldman security can “geolocate the Tweeter to their exact longitude and latitude, floor and desk seat,” then you have been watching too many movies — And if the SEC had those same powers, insider trading (and most successful hedge funds) wouldn’t exist.

 5a. The final piece – The average business trip gone wrong – Of course it didn’t happen to me. I would be retarded to post that if it was actually me. Firstly, Goldman wasn’t on that deal, and it happened ~10 years ago…  But, it is still 100% true. I worked on the deal (with 20-30 other people); I know most of the people involved. The main character in the story was/is a counterpart at a competing firm. And I’ve heard that story told so vividly in so many mixed circles that there are probably 50+ people capable of telling that story – which is why I felt safe doing so…

 5b. – Using Total Frat Move.com to put out a story – Pretty simple. I had never heard of that web-site until they ran a story highlighting my Twitter account and their favorite tweets. On the back of that story alone, I added probably 50,000 followers – most of whom seemed to be in the 16-24yr old demographic, a group that can be very influential in determining what goes viral. So they asked me for a story… And I gave them one. That seems fair and reasonable. I thought it was the right thing to do in terms of reciprocity.

Furthermore, to assume that TFM.com would be beneath me, would be to assume that I take my twitter account that seriously.  And it’s moronic to use that as evidence that I am “no Goldman alum.”

 So I’m not a writer, or an aspiring comedy writer. I haven’t made $1 off this. I do it because I have fun with it.